All you fallen bishops trying get up on my pulpit! Ya'll mother marys better recognize! 2010 AD. Guess who's in the house of God!
When I walk into the church all the bishops go crazy
Give it up for my grace, cuz it is amazing
All the ladies in the room you be calling me 'mister'
And you all look the same, ya'll must be sisters
You know you're like a pearl from the finest oyster
I'll pick you up at 7 at your cloister
hope your parents don't know, that you're getting massages
I heard about your father, he always watches
The time is just right so I make my advance
I put on some music, gregorian chants
Maybe one day we'll be walking down the aisle
but for now I'll get to know you biblical style
heaven is the hot spot where I plan to be
and I'm cool with the carpenter, so I get in for free
All the heathens will be blazing burning down inside the basement
I'll be chilling with the father drinking gin and holy water, oh yeah
Alright, I got a special surprise for all you saved church going people out there. Give it up for Pastor Mike! Yo where you at Pastor? Where you at son of Christ? Where you at prodigal son? Where you at?
Dude where you at? Man, where is he?
Pastor Mike's not around, that's pretty unthoughtful
But I got some more verses, so I'll preach some more gospel
You can't trust a man with brown skin like dirt
A bump on the nose, thats a terrorist alert
I drink the blood of christ with a lemon slice
and wafers with some cheese they taste alright
Pour it out for Jesus, my homie the messiah
Pour it out for Jacob, and one for Jeremiah
Pellegrino water is the best for being baptized
put em under water, like a boat getting capsized
People get inspired when they see that I'm devout
but I baptize so often that it's causing a drought
Heaven is the hot spot where I plan to be (John 69)
and I'm cool with the carpenter, no cover charge for me
All the heathens will be blazing, burning down inside the basement
Wait wait hold on. Wait wait one second. What happened to my autotune?
Dude I need that! Come on man put it back on! Fuck.
I'll have a cocktail with a cherry and a bloody virgin mary, amen
I take the lord's supper it comes from the heavens
butter and bread, only if its leavened
and I gotta have seconds cuz I'm crazy for meat
That's why noah's ark is the perfect place to eat!
I'm in possession of mad amounts of green
I got more stacks than a nativity scene
If you dig that evolution then you must be impaired
We all prefer a cross to a Punnet square (What is that?)
People have been waiting for two thousand years
for "Jesus Returns", the sequel premiere
So you better read the book so you know what he's been through
Cuz you know he's coming soon to cathedrals near you
Yeah! Roman Catholic, where you at?
Dirty Southern Baptist, Lemme hear you!
Eastern Orthodox, Protestant!
I see some Mormons by the Coke machine!
We're not that different people
Put your bibles in the air!
King James in the house tonight!
Damn there's some holy motherfuckers (sacreligious) up in this bitch
Alright we done yet?
Let's get out here