The Internet. Mass Communication Device. Repositor of History. Backbone of Society. It is in dangerous need of an UPGRADE
That is why on Tuesday, March 30, 2010 starting at 3AM Euro Central Time, the Internet will be shut off TEMPORARILY to globally install the new firmware.
The blackout is expected to only last 24 hours. During this time, there will be NO: emailing, chatting, surfing, downloading OR uploading, poking, Superpoking, texting SEXTing, I-M-ing, MMSing, and any other ING you can think of.
This includes Smart Phones, such as iPhones and Blackberrys. Although you will still be able to use it as a phone, you can only accept incoming calls. Landlines will be unaffected.
After the reboot is completed and the pipes are completely cleaned, we will all enjoy a BRAND NEW INTERNET with exciting NEW features such as
1) Blazing Fast Connection Speeds up to 200 terra boops per second
2) Complete ELIMINATION of SPAM
3) NEW SENSORS THAT ALLOW FOR YOU TO TOUCH OTHER USERS REMOTELY!
4) Unlimited porn for EVERYONE (18 years and older only)
So, sit back, relax, drink plenty of water and enjoy your day off with your day of NO INTERNET for ANYBODY
BROUGHT TO YOU BY ICANN