Bart's teacher and the Simpsons' neighbor start dating--making Homer and Bart miserable. But her romantic past threatens to destroy her newfound love.
The family discovers 500 old keys in a drawer and tries to find out what they do. Marge sets a farting novelty toy loose on the town, Homer achieves a lifelong dream as he pilots the Duff blimp, Bart is dismayed to find that every prank he tries to pull turns into a good deed, and Lisa uncovers a shocking mystery in the basement of the school.
Homer discovers he has a natural gift for hairstyling. But he finds that the women in Springfield tell him more about their men than he wants to know. Meanwhile, Milhouse publicly declares his love for Lisa, is rejected, then is stunned to discover someone who likes him as much as he likes her. An equally stunned Lisa becomes obsessed with finding out just what Milhouse's new girlfriend sees in him.
Selma's smartass behavior at the DMV leads to an unexpected romance with Fat Tony, and a trip to see Tony's relatives on the Jersey shore. Meanwhile, Lisa discovers Bart has truffle-sniffing abilities previously seen only in pigs--abilities which lead him to be exploited by his sister.
While trying to get rid of a wagonful of unwanted peaches, Lisa encounters an again magician who teaches her long-forgotten tricks. Then she unwittingly betrays his secret to a hated young rival.
When Homer reveals in therapy that he has strangled Bart for years, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is brought in to effectuate a cure. Homer becomes so intimidated by his son that Bart starts to run wild, terrorizing his father and the school.
When Cheech and Chong split up during a performance in Springfield, Homer gets a chance to perform stoner comedy--but finds it is not the high life he imagines. Meanwhile, Marge attempts to cure the crazy Cat Lady of her hoarding.
Lisa discovers a miraculous drug that can cure crankiness in old people. Bart starts illegally selling it to Springfield seniors, only to discover it has a horrifying side effect.
Bart makes an animated short film which is surprisingly nominated for every major Hollywood award. When Homer tries to seize credit for the film, it starts a battle between the two that climaxes onstage at the Academy Awards.
When Marge decides to "go gray" with her hair, she is startled by the reaction of her friends and family. Meanwhile, Homer becomes a "wing man", first to Moe, then to every single guy in town.
Homer becomes obsessed with a cheesy '80s sitcom and tries to apply its outdated lessons to his own relationship with Bart. A disgruntled Bart is driven straight into the arms of Chinese nuclear spies.
To impress Mr. Burns, Smithers helps Moe turn his tavern into a gay bar that caters to men who are less than perfect. Meanwhile, a substitute music teacher becomes the passion of Principal Skinner's life. Moe enjoys his new clientele so much he considers running for city council--without telling anyone he's straight. Meanwhile, Principal Skinner must choose between his career and a free-spirited substitute music teacher.
A war between the fourth and fifth graders leads Bart to discover an unusual scar on his wrist. Learning the secret of its origin unlocks a secret from Marge's past. Bart's journey to the truth takes him to Comic Book Guy, and a Fourth of July long ago gone horribly wrong.
When Homer runs afoul of tough new ordinances that take effect January 1, he goes undercover with the mob to shorten his sentence. He finds that the Springfield Mafia is much more welcoming and lovable than he ever would have suspected. Guest star--Jon Hamm.
Bart heads to a surprisingly downsized North Pole to get a toy he wants; Marge attempts to kill Hitler at Christmas, Martha Stewart takes over the Simpson family holiday, and Katy Perry performs with the Simpsons--in puppet form for the first time ever.
A storm blows a pigeon through the Simpsons' window, and Bart makes it his pet. He nurses it back to health, and when he is approached by Moe to turn it into a racing pigeon he has to make a difficult decision.