Calling it the most scandalous cover-up of the past half century, dim-witted conspiracy theorist Daniel Burgess told reporters Thursday he believes the U.S.
The outgoing mayor continues to stand by the police s routine kissing of New York citizens.
In advance of a busy holiday season, the FAA has offered helpful tips to deal with the fact that any airplane can crash and kill you at any time.
The White House announces Sasha Obama will now be played by Britney Watkins, a Buddhist extremist cell vows to unleash tranquility on the West, and an open floor plan increases an office shooter s productivity by 95 percent.
Recent Wesleyan University graduate Zach Wallace confided to reporters Thursday that he has no clue how his parents are supposed to earn enough money to settle his $40,000 in student loan debt.
The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'The Hunger Games: Catching Fire' in this week's Film Standard
The above is a a short clip from the Kamma h na's 45-minute video. Full Story.
The pop star s national tour came to an abrupt halt this week as fans said they just didn t have the energy to watch Aguilera perform.
Noting that the 37-year-old does not possess the looks, charisma, talent, or name recognition of a successful leading man, Hollywood insiders agreed Thursday that local account manager Dennis Kerning s star power is not sufficient to carry a major m...
An alarming MRI shows that Peyton Manning has been dead for 6 months, the Mariana Trench is once again named the worst place to raise children, and a man smoking an e-cigarette must be a futuristic bounty hunter.
WASHINGTON A new report released Thursday by the Pew Research Center has found that Americans lead the world in their ability to take very large sandwiches into their hands and crush them until they are small enough to fit inside the human mouth.
A report shows that Americans lead the world in compressing big sandwiches so they're biteable, Paul Hogan admits he s still searching for that one career-defining role, and a giant burrito is going to solve all of an area man's problems for three p...
GRAND RAPIDS, MI Fed up with an increasing workload and problems with his coworkers at CLG Software, project coordinator William Garsten reportedly took a list of grievances Wednesday to supervisor Todd Watkins, a middle manager utterly powerless to...
Celebs like Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie are helping to raise awareness for their suffering children who grow up without a chance for a normal life.
The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at the horror classic 'The Shining' in this week's Film Standard