Obama spends the afternoon in a garage restoring a classic drone, McDonald s is now offering bereavement prices, and a sexual predator gets tenure.
The Department of Health and Human Services released their long-awaited report clarifying that nearly every death is directly linked to our Heavenly Lord needing our deceased love ones up in Heaven.
Following an exhaustive six-year analysis of numerous inanimate beings, scientists at Oxford University announced Thursday they have conclusively proven that statues are our species nearest nonliving relatives.
The friendly airline says that while they re proud to have the most loyal customers in the business, it s time to find out what their customers are willing to do for them.
Ukrainian-Russian tensions divide U.S. citizens along ignorant and apathetic lines, the national endowment for the arts provides 80 million dollars for discouraging talentless hacks, and a dog is held against its will inside a Skype window.
Calling it the most valuable decision he will ever make, the parents of local 20-year-old Patrick Tobin reportedly advised their son this week to fully devote himself to pursuing an improv comedy education.
Despite having spent eight of the last 10 days in his classmate s living room playing Xbox alongside him, local 12-year-old Michael Cutler admitted to reporters Wednesday that he couldn t even venture a guess as to what the boy s name is. Full article.
The nation s top researchers concluded that you can t hide how stoned you are and that you should be freaking out if you aren t already.
The 'Dallas Buyers Club' star used his speech to thank the profession of acting for being a fun, easy job that everyone should try.
Expressing a deeply held political opinion is referred to as a gaffe, the Reverend Al Sharpton takes time off from his holy duties to make a TV appearance, and the Empire State Building reopens its spire to visitors.
The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal picks his Oscar favorites in this week's special edition of the Film Standard.
Citing a range of factors from the lack of security glass to the fact that the cash register is situated right next to the front door, a report published Thursday confirmed that robbing the BP gas station at Reynolds and Murray wouldn t actually be all that hard. Full article.
We get all the latest Hollywood gossip from a boy who definitely knows what sex is and how it works.
Delighted health insurance executives gather in an outdoor coliseum to watch a patient battle cancer, Anderson Cooper decides to keep his recent gay conversion therapy private, and a self-conscious flasher is fully clothed under his trench coat.
As the games wind down, officials are already starting to return the dead strays to the streets they once called home.
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