The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at 'Citizen Kane' in this week's Film Standard
Apologizing to customers for any discomfort or searing of the flesh on their ring fingers, Kay Jewelers ordered a recall Thursday of some two million cursed wedding bands sold at its 900 locations nationwide over the past several years. Full article.
A shocking new study that asked teen boys about their sexual habits reveals that they are all having sex all the time and are really, really good at having it.
Obama spends another night searching behind White House paintings for safes, an autopsy determines a total loser's corpse contained no traces of drugs or alcohol, and a superstitious Delta Airlines adds busty mermaids to its plane noses.
Employees at Gillman s Hardware confirmed Monday that despite the company s small size, single location, and the fact that it has been family owned and operated for over 35 years, it still manages to treat its staff as if they worked at a face... Full article.
Everyone in a bustling Chinese parade is attempting to elude pursuers, newly discovered cave paintings suggest early man was battling a lot of inner demons, and a xylophonist is shredding it.
Being sleep deprived can tremendously impact your lifestyle on a day-to-day basis. Here are The Onion's tips for getting a good night's sleep.
President Bush has a new hobby -- painting! -- and he s showing off some new watercolors of the undead Iraqi boy who lives in his nightmares.
Saying he had witnessed up close the daily hardships endured by a young person impaired by a bland, unremarkable appearance, local doctor Daniel Barrett told reporters Wednesday how growing up with an average-looking brother inspired him to become a cosmetic surgeon. Full article.
Representatives from barbed wire advocacy groups are up in arms over the fencing material s portrayal in a violent new video game.
For women starting a new job, it can be difficult to navigate a male-dominated office environment. Here are The Onion's tips for succeeding as a woman in the workplace.
The holiday season is already here, but your new Christmas tree still doesn t quite have that festive look.
Fall is here, but it s not too late to find your perfect fall outfit. Here are The Onion s tips for fall fashion.
The food you eat greatly impacts how you feel on a daily basis, but starting a new healthy lifestyle can be difficult.
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