Scientists finally pronounce the human genome, a new report finds that the Washington Redskins name is only offensive if you think about what it means, and a bigoted asshole makes the best barbecue.
The Onion's movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews 'Lee Daniels' The Butler' in this week's Film Standard
Beyond The Facts talks to the family of missing toddler Aaron Crawford, whose older brother hopes he never comes home.
Dick Van Dyke finally confesses to the Zodiac killings, the open dialogue two Americans are having about race is pretty hilarious, and a fucking loser is at a movie all by himself.
Music lovers are in Chicago s Grant Park this weekend to engage with all of the hottest companies and corporate sponsors targeting their demographic.
In a new report released Wednesday by the Pew Research center, Americans indicated that when it comes to what they expect from their country, all they really want is to be safe, happy, rich, comfortable, and entertained at absolutely all times.
The Royal baby speaks his first words, an unambitious loser with a happy, fulfilling life still lives in his hometown, and a pool owner has a bathing suit that touched his penis you can borrow.
Economists at Harvard University released a new study this week indicating that Americans who paint themselves silver and pretend to be statues in public spaces make, on average, $10 million per year.
The nation throws its hands up and tells black teens to be careful out there, J.K. Rowling is revealed to be the pseudonym of Newt Gingrich, and the FBI is offering $1 million for any information on cheetahs.
The FBI is asking any Americans with information about the eating habits, top speed, fighting abilities, or other general interest knowledge of cheetahs to contact them immediately in return for a one million dollar reward. Full Report.
Red Roof Inn announces its new Suicidal Suite, the FBI can t bring themselves to bust a guy torrenting every season of Picket Fences, and zoo visitors watch the mating rituals of the ice cream shop staff.
In an effort to cater to customers who have lost the will to live, economy hotel chain Red Roof Inn officially unveiled Thursday its new Suicidal Suite available at each of their locations across the nation.
A dying kid in Houston is holding on until the Astros develop a player worth meeting, fossilized evidence reveals the Spazosaurus was the largest doofus ever to roam the earth, and a Facebook friend is apparently under the impression that Ron Paul is stil...
The universe, long known as a bleak and unforgiving place where essentially nothing matters, is in fact even crueler and more heartless than previously thought, according to a startling report published Tuesday by scientists at the Institute for Advanced ...