FactZone looks back at the most important events of 2011.
A woman who talks too loudly disturbs the entire nation. Congress to decide if the Administration should take action.
The FactZone studio develops artificial intelligence. Brooke introduces viewers to a new state of the art studio.
The network explores the important topic of sex. Brooke and O'Brady discuss human trafficking.
A very special takeover by the network's morning show Today Now! Hosted by Jim and Tracy. Tracy's son visits the set.
Brooke is angered by a documentary about her life and addresses the claims on-air.
A Seven decade veteran newscaster's career is honored as the FactZone says goodbye to legend Brandon Armstrong. Cameo by Charlie Rose.
Tucker Hope tries out a new piece of technology, "Brainwall" and reveals a fantasy.
Sleep-deprived Shelby Cross leads the search for missing one-year-old Baby Kate, and advises viewers on search techniques.
An asteroid is about to destroy the Earth. Shelby gives another approach to self defense classes.
As America responds to the news that the American Dream has died, Brooke Alvarez provides the news you need to survive in this terrible, frightening world. Along with her award-winning team of reporters, she covers the stories that matter most from the safety of the FactZone.
Washington enters talks with the people of Real America. Whenever news happens, Brooke Alvarez is fearless in her pursuit of the truth, going to any length to bring America (the world?) the news.
When Wall Street panics after a stock market crash, Brooke Alvarez explores the story in depth and also reports new details on the GOP's newest superstar Mike Brant. A small business owner from Kentucky, Brant's earnest desire not to run for public office has propelled him to be a Republican front runner despite his desperate pleas to be left alone.
A breaking news report reveals the president has been kidnapped. Every night in the FactZone Brooke Alvarez provides viewers with the latest news from around the world, except for the countries no one cares about. The Onion News Network doesn't waste your time with news you don't need to know.
After America suffers a cyber attack, Brooke Alvarez interviews top U.S. officials on the subject via satellite. If someone saw something, did something, or allegedly did something, you'll see them on the FactZone. Americans no longer have any excuse to be uninformed.
A predator drone plane stands trial in military court. Brooke Alvarez delivers a 30-minute nonstop news assault, covering politics, entertainment, science, and business news in the FactZone. It's no wonder more Americans find out what to think by turning to the Onion News Network.
Appointed by Bush in 2003 to distract from the horrors of war, Liberty's antics turned fatal yesterday when he cart-wheeled into a roadside bomb.
Panelists praise the Army's commitment to getting gravely wounded troops back on the battlefield with innovations like armor-clad wheelchairs.
In this episode of 'Raw Justice,' a depraved sex fiend violated his wife's body almost weekly for ten years before finally murdering her.
Today Now! brings you the inspiring story of Brian Peete, a fat boy who hid his obesity from other children at the pool by keeping his shirt on.
The CDC's new anti-smoking campaign effectively reaches teens with a simple message: if you smoke, people are going to know you're totally crazy for butt sex.
Congo lawmakers are convinced the stimulus package will give Congolese the assault weapons they need to obtain clothes, food.
The First Responders discuss how to keep the amateur porn you make from affecting your job search.
Paleontologists believe the intact skeleton could shed light on the bizarre fetishes of this pervert dinosaur.
Psychic Kenneth Quinn connects Today Now! studio guests with former landlords and friends of work friends who have died for stilted conversations from beyond.
On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy talk to an 11-year-old who had his leg gnawed off by a cool-as-hell shark.
From the Onion Prison Channel: Prison analysts warn rising inflation could devalue everything from rim jobs to shivs.
Internet criminals are using a website called "Kickstarter" to bilk friends and families out of money for terrible, ill-conceived, and unnecessary "personal projects."
The press secretary tells reporters that before the president can defeat the monster, he'll have to defeat his greatest enemy of all: his own doubts.
YouTube is offering a cash prize to the first user to upload a video with a shred of originality or artistic merit.
Congress says that with no way to actually pay back our debts, faking a coup to eliminate financial obligations is the best plan for the U.S. economy.
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