The Banker and The Poodle

  • Posted: 3/25/2014
    • Length: 04:00
    • Plays: ???
Synopsis >

original comedy song (lyrics and chords below) *** Artist: One Eye Jim & the Twins Album: Here I Come Song: "The Banker and the Poodle" *** [capo 7th] [D]My banker was a weird ol' cat I knew, he was [G]known for touchin' dogs where their privates grew. I[A]guess he liked to launch red [D]rockets. Well every now and then he'd come around, while walkin' his poodle out about the town Thinkin' incorrectly we enjoyed his company. He didn't really mind that his dog was blind, he'd crouch down low and sneak up behind And 'tap that' poor thing on the nuts. Well, tonight he thought he'd get extra freaky, so he[G]got real close to his dog's buttcheekies And goosed that thing awake with his tongue. Some of us thought that was goin' too far, but other folk among us just egged him on To see, well, to see what he would do. There were [G]sounds of grunting, groaning, moaning, and muf[D]fled cries. And [G]whispy little whimpers wafting upward to the [D]sky, Cuz [A]somethin' done got stuck [G]where the sun don't [D]shine. Well, the banker took the stage, yelled "Carpe Diem" then sank to a new low, even for him, And dropped trow, then grabbed a jug of whiskey. If he'd'a stopped for a moment, just to think, 'stead of raisin' that bottle and commencin' to drink, I do think he could have salvaged the situation. But instead he locked eyes with the family dog, said, "You ever play sit...on a log?" And I'll be damned if that guy weren't rock hard. Well he set the jug down, began to advance, and the little French poodle took a French-like stance And cowered, sensing what was coming next. The banker he spun that poodle around, looked a little too tickled with what he had found And said, "Oh baby this is gonna be good." There were [G]sounds of grunting, groaning, moaning, and muf[D]fled cries. And [G]whispy little whimpers wafting upward to the [D]sky, Cuz [A]somethin' done got stuck [G]where the sun don't [D]shine. But what the banker didn't know, cuz I failed to say, I was Sittin' his poodle's friend from up the way: A great big mean ol' mastiff named Karma... ...who was outside when he saw the banker on the floor gettin' greased up for his friend's back door And one could say he was not too pleased. He crushed my screen door down to the ground, then took airborne, all two hundred pounds, And landed right on that banker's backside. We were scared for his life when he started to twitch, but I had to laugh, and think, "Ain't it a bitch When Karma, sweet Karma comes around." There were [G]sounds of grunting, groaning, moaning, and muf[D]fled cries. And [G]whispy little whimpers wafting upward to the [D]sky, On the [A]day my banker he got [G]poked where the sun don't [D]shine. Shine, shine, shine, stuck where the sun don't shine. My banker thought he'd take that poodle and have himself a real good time, But he got prostrated, violated, and treated like a bitch in kind. And now it seems poetic justice that he's got a sore behind. ***

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