Tips on Garage Sales. A Dramatic Reading of a Funny Craigs List Ad.

  • Posted: 7/10/2014
    • Length: 03:29
    • Plays: ???
Synopsis >

This is an Actual Craigslist Posting. Read verbatim. I found it pretty hysterical hat someone took the time to write and post this and so I decided to do a dramatic reading of the ad. It's pretty much totally from the perspective of the Garage seller and there's a bit of rage in there and some of the language they use is a little racy, and by racy, I mean profanity, and by profanity I mean cursing. Anyway, Here's the link if you want to see the actual add, but you better hurry, because it's probably long gone as it was most likely flagged as spam minutes after it was posted. http://newjersey.craigslist.org/gms/3022790835.html Tips on garage sales (North Jersey) Date: 2012-05-18, 9:16AM EDT Reply to: see below [Errors when replying to ads?] half the time I don't think these things are worth it...I mean, people expect you to give away your stuff for free...if we wanted to give away stuff for free, we would donate it so it would be written off on our taxes, not given to some cheap asshole who doesn't deserve it. We have these sales because we desparately need money. So when I say $5 for a can of gas that currently holds 2 gallons, don't offer $3, because that makes you a scummy piece of shit. a single gallon of gas is over $3, so why would we give you a container of 2, for $3? It's insulting really, as if you think we're that stupid, or you just have no respect for us at all that you're willing to let us openly know you want to rip us off. And to the douchebag who didn't have 50 cents, if you don't have $1.50, then pay $2 and I'll give you change. It doesn't make it $1, you cheap asshole. Burn in hell you piece of shit. And also, if we don't agree on $1, picking it up and yelling, "I'm buying this for a dollar" won't get you it for a dollar. No, all that will get you is either a fist in your face the next time I see your ugly ass or a police report for theft. You're a cheap, conniving bastard and you're never allowed to set foot on my property again, unless you want to explain to the cops why you were trespassing. It's a private sale so we can deny you for any reason, and I think theft is a valid reason to forbid you from any future sale. Now, to lighten things up, I want to thank those people who were generous and kind, and realized why we would be selling nice things. People sell nice things because they need the money, and you realized that we were selling them for much less than their original cost, so not only did you get an item for much less, but you helped out a struggling family. And for those who bought quite a few items, we discounted and rounded down, to make both our lives easier. So for those who are kind and accept our prices, or even at least offer a fair amount, (NOT $3 for 2 gallons of gas...by the way, it was a year old so I hope it gunked up whatever you put it in and blew the engine, because you deserve that.) I want to thank those of you who were kind and nice and polite.

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