Captain's Log: Flyin' high again - and hoping I don't have to take a piss-test when those space-cops catch up to us ... proving just how jack-booted and thuggish the Confederation really is, Commander Adam's wife, Nancy, recently had me arrested like a cheap pimp just so I could do her a favor. Her hookwormy hubby had crash-landed on Vitalius IV, home of the galaxy's most infamous monsters. Nancy's big solution to this minor crisis was to dump an earwig in my ear that would eat my brain in 24 hours if she didn't remove it - and she was the only one who could. In other words, if I wanted to live, I had to rescue Adam. Convincing my crew to help me burned up an insultingly large chunk of my incredibly shrinking life-span, but we finally landed on Vitalius IV. There, the crew distracted the critters while I scanned for Commander Adam's life-signal.
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