Michelle explains her love for Tonya Harding in her video diary. (01/20/11)
In a world where everyone in the Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan scandal attend the same high school, Tonya and Nancy are Friends.
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I dedicate this song to the one and only Michael Phelps.
Here are the lyrics:
Tonya Harding tried to injure Kerrigan
O.J. maybe probably killed Nicole Simpson
Kobe Bryant got some sugar on the side
Jose Conseco didn't even try to hide
Michael Vick killed some dogs and then got caught
And Michael Phelps smoked pot
Not America's Golden Boy, not the smile of corn flakes
The superhuman fishman can't be prone to make mistakes
Your future still looks bright, just wait out the aftershock
You might have lost Kellogs, but you might pick up Birkenstock
Still, I'll always remember when
You smoked everyone in the pool
You totally made swimming cool
You got high up on the pedestal
And won first place, the badass who won every race
He's always going fast so he thought he'd take it slow
At least it wasn't real drugs like heroine or blow
Every day he eats 12,000 calories
That number probably triples when he gets the munchies
It's wrong hating him for what he did
A bong c'mon the guy is still a kid
Inhale is what Barack has done
If I'm correct, I'm pretty sure that he still won
Michael, you might be super human every time you swim
But outside of the pool it's good to know that you're human
This will all blow over, so just ride out the breeze
And next time, save yourself the trouble and just make brownies
O.J. Simpson arrested! What's next, Lorena Bobbitt marries Tonya Harding? Will O.J. once again get in the way of REAL news, like Britney's custody battle? Uncle Jay explains it all!
"Sometimes you have to kneecap your opponents"
Highlights of this day in history: Adolf Hitler purges rivals in Nazi Germany; America's food and drug safety take a big step forward; 'Gone With the Wind' published; Tonya Harding banned from figure skating; Singer Lena Horne born. (June 30)
Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan, the victim of the whack heard 'round the world at the 1994 Lillehammer Games, is returning to the Olympics. Kerrigan, who was clubbed on the right knee weeks before her appearance at the Games in a bizarre plot cooked up by competitor Tonya Harding, will serve as a figure skating analyst during NBC's coverage of the Sochi Winter Olympics, the network announced Tuesday.
One of truTV's "Dumbest Criminals" breaks into a pizza joint to steal the tip jar, then slams his head into the glass door while trying to escape. Commentary by Tonya Harding, Leif Garrett, Judy Gold, Danny Bonaduce, and Todd Bridges. Watch more of The Smoking Gun Presents, Thursdays at 9, on truTV.
Homage of Tonya Harding's 1994 Olympics free skate in Lillehammer, Norway.
Former Olympic figure skater Nancy Kerrigan chats with Access' Billy Bush about the infamous attack on her, which Tonya Harding was implicated, but ultimately never charged. Does she believe Tonya was involved?
World's Dumbest showcases the dumbest of the dumb - pathetic partiers, outrageous outlaws, brainless brawlers and beyond. Led by a hilarious cast of celebrity commentators who know a thing or two about stupid, including Danny Bonaduce, Leif Garrett, Judy Gold, Tonya Harding and Todd Bridges.
Jimmy Fallon chats with Laura Saltman about getting ready to make his debut on the "Tonight Show." How did he choose his first guest? And, why did he change the wording of the show's title? Plus, what is it like landing the cover of Vanity Fair?
Just weeks before their televised wedding, what did "The Bachelor's" Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudice tell Laura Saltman about how they're feeling? Plus, how long do they plan to honeymoon? And, what are their plans for after the wedding?
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