In the blood-chilling tradition of Halloween and Village of the Damned comes John Carpenter's unique vision of the ultimate killing machines, VAMPIRES. "Forget everything you've ever heard about vampires," warns Jack Crow (James Woods), the leader of Team Crow, a relentless group of mercenary vampire slayers. When Master Vampire Valek (Thomas Ian Griffith) decimates Jack's entire team, Crow and the sole team survivor, Montoya (Daniel Baldwin), set out in pursuit. Breaking all the rules, Crow and Montoya take one of Valek's victims hostage. The beautiful but unlucky prostitute (Sheryl Lee) is their sole psychic link to Valek, and through her senses they will track down the leader of the undead. As Valek nears the climax of his 600-year search for the Berziers Cross, Jack and the new Team Crow do everything humanly possible to prevent him from possessing the only thing that can grant him and all vampires the omnipotent power to walk in the daylight.

This week, the roar of tumbling pins can be heard all day long at QubicaAMF, Honeywell Life Safety makes fire alarms that have been saving lives for more than a hundred years, and Louis DiRaimundo is the Hot Dog King behind the All American Hot Dog Cart.

Clint Eastwood is a veteran Secret Service agent whose shameful secret is known to the serial killer that eludes him. Starring CLINT EASTWOOD, RENE RUSSO, JOHN MALKOVICH, DYLAN MCDERMOTT, JOHN HEARD

Heard on "Gossip Girl"

Sami rushes to keep her appointment with Andre when she's waylaid by Bo. He gives her the leather folio he found in the warehouse and she learns the terms for ending the feud. She later ditches Bo and meets with Andre at a warehouse. Andre offers her a deal: he'll spare her father's life, but in exchange, she must choose which man dies, Lucas or EJ. Meanwhile, Doug and Julie bring the last of the translated letters to the pub. Bo tells them to read the letters with Hope, Marlena and John while he finds Grandpa Shawn. They have to find a way to stop the vendetta before Roman is killed. Stephanie visits Steve in the hospital. He asks if she's heard from Jeremy, and she reports that he took off after telling her to forget about him. When pressed, Steph confesses she probably still loves him. Max arrives and overhears. After Kayla joins the group, Stefano arrives, claiming to want peace between the families. Stefano explains that Andre is out of control and he's worried what he'll do to EJ. Stefano guarantees tha

We've all heard by now that John McCain stood David Letterman up and Dave is a little, shall we say pissed? After Day 2 of Letterman's anti-McCain barbs, it's starting to look like Johnny jilted the wrong girl right before prom. Oh no he didn't! Everyone knows McCain is a two-timer, but no gal likes to be made a fool in front of all of her peers. What's that saying, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? When that woman is David Letterman, you're going down. Enjoy 39 more days of sweet revenge, Johnny.Filed under: Election 2008, David Letterman, John McCain, John McCain on David Letterman, John McCain snubs David Letterman, McCain skips Late Show, McCain skips out on Letterman, Letterman v. McCain, David Letterman on John McCain, McCain and Couric, McCain suspends campaign

Ever heard of a Turduckendilla? John Madden discusses his favorite holiday foods.

John Oliver has heard all the arguments for and against American independence, and he's going to come down on "against."

Heard on "Bones"

What our dream-selves heard Sarah say: We would vote for that!Filed under: Election 2008, Sarah Palin, Palin, John McCain, McCain, Trigg Palin, McCain Palin, McCain Palin 08, Republican National Convention, RNC, RNC 2008, Special Needs Children, Ebay, Sarah Palin and Ebay, Speech Mashup, Sarah Palin Speech Mashup